How to stalk your Valentine (and maybe get arrested) This Valentine’s Day, don’t settle for no. Sure, he told you to go away, don’t call again. She said it’s over, even my cat is afraid of you and nearly scratched a hole in the wall trying to escape though I had her declawed years ago. [...]
Filed under: Sad Tire on February 14th, 2007 | No Comments »
With New! Extra-strength Non-binding Resolutions, your congress will have even less control over world affairs! Just think — you can watch your representatives work more (five days a week!) and accomplish less! All New! Extra-strength Non-binding Resolutions are made with real bits of lobbyists, so you know they’re good. But hurry. If you order now, [...]
Filed under: Sad Tire on February 6th, 2007 | 1 Comment »
Today’s Denver Post reported that Ted Haggard will be leaving my beloved current state (Colorado) for my beloved home state (Missouri). Or Iowa, he said. Is there a corner of Missouri or Iowa he can crawl into unnoticed? Definitely. I’m more worried about where Dr. Phil will hide. Dr. Phil is next. I just know [...]
Filed under: Sad Tire on February 5th, 2007 | 2 Comments »
From the Department of Homeland Security Five Ways to Encourage Liberals to Have Fewer Children If you’re a liberal, here’s what you can do to make Karl Rove a very happy man: Get yourself a labradoodle. Or any other kind of dog, for that matter. Even a cat will do. Just don’t have children. That [...]
Filed under: Sad Tire on January 29th, 2007 | No Comments »
A man walks into a bar. He turns around and walks right back out. He knows what’s coming. He’s not carrying a duck. He’s not carrying anything. He’s a normal guy, there’s not anything unusual about him. He doesn’t have a slick bet or hustle. He doesn’t have a story to tell. So the bartender [...]
Filed under: Sad Tire on January 24th, 2007 | 1 Comment »